It’s a strange thing, Fear!
Fear is absolutely necessary for the survival of the human race, yet none of us likes it. Possibly it is because we have learnt to generalise that the important things in life are all pleasurable. Is it possible that we have lost the ability to appreciate the value of fear?
What do I mean by this?
Here is an example, most people have a fear of public speaking but it is not simply public speaking that they are afraid of. It’s something entirely different, something far deeper and far more complex, like rejection, embarrassment or failure in some way. Because fear is typically more broadly based than it first appears, it can have more serious implications than might first be apparent.
Fear of speaking in public may result in you avoiding speaking in public but it may also have ramifications in other areas of your life, causing you to avoid speaking in any group situation – whether social or otherwise. You might find yourself avoiding going to parties or to a book club or even work meetings, especially if you believe that you may be ‘put on the spot’ and asked to contribute to a group conversation.
What’s happening here?
Simply put it is your intricate ‘survival’ mechanism, one that senses a potentially painful change to the status quo and warns you that if you go through with the event (whatever that may be) it may very well result in ‘pain’ (in the form of acute embarrassment for example).Our brain then engineers an emotional reaction (feelings of fear) this encourages us to steer clear of the event and thereby avoid the likelihood of experiencing ‘pain’.
Yes, but this ‘survival’ mechanism is also the root of the problem that prevents us from making the changes that we so desperately need to make to get to where we want to be in life!
Who said life was easy?
A great life coach plays an essential role in helping you to understand your fear and the fact that most of it is caused by the perception of possible future pain and an inbuilt emotional reaction designed simply to help us survive. Sometimes it can be as simple as creating awareness of an inappropriate fear – helping you to understand the feared ‘thing’ a little better – is all it could take for you to be rid of that fear.
All you need to be able to do is to Trust your coach with your fears. A great life coach should always be able to build the necessary rapport and trust with you!